Comment Wall

Image result for jars of marijuana

Here's my comment wall for my Trippy Stories!



Comments

  1. Hi Hannah! I like the look of your site! I wasn’t sure what to expect from your title, but now it makes sense. Very funny. I like that you added a little paragraph on the home page! I haven’t seen that from many projects and it was a welcome addition! I was kind of confused as to what verb tense was taking place here. For example, the beginning uses words that indicate the story is happening in present tense, but as it progresses, it switches to past tense. I would just be careful of that going forward. I’m excited to see what urban horror stories you end up telling here! This is such a unique way to approach this topic. It should be interesting! I think that this will be very entertaining to read and I’m definitely looking forward to seeing what all you end up doing with your project!

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    1. Hi Ryeli!

      Thank you for your feedback! I'm almost positive you might have read my very first, roughest draft. I've updated my verb tense usage. It's been awhile since I've done any writing and didn't realize how difficult it was for me to stay consistent with my verb tense. Your feedback was very useful!

      I've just published my first story which is broken up into four parts. If you ever get the chance to read it, let me know what you think!

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  2. Hi Hannah! I hope your semester is going well. Right away, I thought this was a unique and fun approach to your project! Your dialogue is awesome! It felt so familiar and like an interaction I’d have with my roommate. It was super natural. I also adore that you incorporate the Bachelor! Honestly, if you’re going for the most relatable story award, I think you have it squared away. I’m super excited to read more and see where this is going to take us. I wish that either the Home page or the Introduction page had a bit more information regarding what types of folklore or mythology we may encounter later on. I think it would be really beneficial to give the reader a bit of direction right off the bat to keep them engage and driving forward through the reading. I’m also a little bit nervous that these stories could end up super creepy or scary. That’s SO not my thing, but I know it’s an amazing genre! I’m just a baby when it comes to scary things.
    All in all, awesome work so far! I can’t wait to see more!
    Tricia

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  3. Hey Hannah!

    This story was pretty hilarious, even though I knew what I was getting into when I clicked the story. It was still really fun to experience, and I like how your introduction will set up the rest of your Storybook. I'm excited to read the rest of it!

    For starters, I had difficulty finding your comment wall. I clicked everywhere and couldn't find an obvious link. I had to go through a roundabout way in order to leave this comment, so maybe you should look at that! (I might also be seriously blind, but I couldn't find it at all.)

    I like your writing style, it's very easy to read and realistic. The only feedback I have is whenever someone speaks, it's a new paragraph. There is usually no dialogue at the tail end of a paragraph. This just breaks up the text and makes it easier to read. Also, you should describe your characters so we know what they look like, especially since this is third person. Otherwise, good job!

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  4. Hi Hannah!

    What an interesting topic for a project! Marijuana has become a major part of our society, even though it has been prominent for a while. It helps with anxiety, depression, pain, etc. What people never really think about is that this is a "mind altering" substance, so of course you could experience some weird dreams, both while using and while on a hiatus.

    As Dani mentioned before me, I would have a clearer link to your comment wall. Post it right there on the home page, or you could even provide a link to it after every story. Other than that, I think your page layout is great and easy to navigate.

    As for the intro story, I thought it was very well done. It gave great insight into the characters, the setting, and where future stories might be headed. It was very relatable, even though I have no experience smoking. I look forward to seeing your imagination flourish in the future stories. Great job so far!

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  5. Hi Hannah,

    When I read your title for your project, I was not sure what I was about to get myself into. Once I started to read your introduction, I knew I was going to like it. Great job using lots of dialogue in the introduction so that the readers know how the characters feel. It makes the introduction that much more interesting and spices things up in a way. My favorite thing about the path that you chose is how relatable your introduction is. Both of the girls are roommates in college and talking about how stressed out they are because of their classes. The addition of their trippy dreams was a good call.

    As for the layout of your page, I would suggest that you somehow add the link to your comment wall on your home page. I had some trouble finding it to be able to leave you feedback on your project. Also, as I was reading your introduction, I noticed several spots where you need to proofread it and fix some grammar mistakes.

    Overall, I am very excited to follow up with your project and I can't wait to see the final outcome!

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  6. Hi Hannah! I love your storybook so far, I honestly can't wait to read your stories. Your introduction feels so natural and real, I could perfectly picture Stevie and Nicole chatting in their dorm, rolling a joint, getting ready to have the trip of their lives. I have no idea what the stories you will be writing are, whether they are urban legends or based on some of the myths we have read during the semester, but I can only hope they will be as hilarious as your introduction was. I have bookmarked your project and will be checking regularly so that I can read the rest of the project as soon as you finish it! Good luck with the writing, stay safe and take care!

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  7. Hey Hannah,

    I like the introduction of your storybook so far! I think this is a very funny and creative way to do a project, and your writing style flows very well with this type of story. I'm excited to see just how weird these stories get.

    However, I am a bit confused, as I have no idea what kind of myths/urban legends you will be retelling. While I understand that you may want to keep up the suspense, it may be a good idea to put in an author's note of some sort in your introduction that can give at least a little bit of an idea on how your project is going to work.

    That being said, I am very eager to find out who Broccoli Bunch is and what these dreams are about. It sounds like this project is going to be wild and weird, and I can't wait to read more!

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    1. Hey Brett!

      Thank you for your feedback! When writing the introduction, I did face the dilemma of where I wanted to insert my author's note. I was actually going to include a separate page for it, but I didn't like how it interrupted the flow. It was almost like giving an explanation beforehand reduced the uniqueness and, like you said, the suspense.

      Luckily, I just published my first draft of the complete "first story", which is broken up into four part. You'll be able to find my author's note at the end of the fourth part, 'Feeling Whitney: The Interrogation'.

      Let me know what you think!

      Delete
  8. Hello Hannah,

    I would like to start off by you did a really good job with your story. I really thought that your story was funny. I like how your introduction setup the rest of the story. I think your introduction flows really well. The dialogue in the story is so good that I am able to visualize exactly what is going on. I have one question what made you want to write about marijuana. But whatever made write about it was a good idea because I have yet to come across a story like this. I can not wait to read your other stories. It is going to be interesting on what kind of myths/urban legends you are gonna be telling about because most of them have nothing to do with marijuana. Overall I think you did a really good job and can not wait to read about what you write in the future.

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  9. Hey Hannah,
    I wasn't completely sure what I was expecting when I opened your storyboard. Everything was so well thought out. I am completely astonished as to how this came about. What was your inspiration behind telling stories like this? I for sure can't wait to read more. I like how short the story was and how it kept me interested. I would like more to read overall and really understand how you came to retell stories. I think the twist of marijuana is an interesting take because it's been around for thousands of years and we don't know if there was or wasn't any legends or stories. I really can't wait to see what you accomplish here.

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    1. Hi Aspen!

      Thank you for your feedback! The inspiration behind it was actually quite lazy to begin with. I was sitting in my apartment spitballing story ideas while talking to my best friend (also roommate) and thought "how fun would it be to write about me and my friends?" Ironically enough, we were watching That 70's Show. My friends and I love that show and always pretend that we're the living version of that group. Unfortunately I couldn't just write up a bibliography for this project, so I made it work in another way!

      I feel that including marijuana to the scope of the story gives it a super funny and relatable palette. It's controversial enough to raise an eyebrow but socially accepted enough to not be too serious. It's not just a stereotype that the largest stoner population is the college-aged!

      Fun fact: There are plenty of published sleep studies that show the effect of increased REM activity in individuals who go from smoke marijuana to a certain degree of regularity to going cold turkey! They're available to the public and they're so interesting to read.

      If you get the chance to read my first story, let me know what you think!

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  10. Hi Hannah! I am so amazed at the level of detail and intricacies of your story. I completely bought Nicole and Stevie and the Broccoli Bunch as real people. I don't know if this is your finished storybook or if you are planning on following up with more stories, but I sincerely hope this is not the end of the Trippy Stories! I enjoyed it so so much and would love to hear more, maybe some short stories of Stevie dreaming about some weird stuff and telling us about her dreams which could be based on stories we have read for the class. I don't know, just a thought, anything to get more trippy stories about Stevie and Nicole! Great job!

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    1. Thank you so much for your feedback! I just updated the website, (and probably will be updating more in the near future), and I wound up splitting 'Feeling Whitney' into four pages. I figured the whole story as one page was quite extensive and I feared losing the audience's interest since most stories are capped off at a 1000 word max. I do have some other cool trippy dream ideas, one that may include a urban horror legend from the 1910's and fit it to the world's current pandemic crisis.

      I was also playing around with the idea of making a separate page to include character descriptions, to give even more depth to the audience. I wanted to describe them in more detail in the story, but that would only make it miserably longer!

      I seriously loved writing this so much, I wish that I could trade our other assignments in for building this website to new lengths. Unfortunately, I don't think I would slide on getting credit for that. I'm glad you enjoyed, and continue to give feedback!

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  11. Hey Hannah! Great job on your story! I was surprised to read your story and loved it! it was different from everyone else's and the way you describe and write it out was great! The way you described each character and gave them each personalities made them feel so real! Ive only made it to the part where they were at the police station but I am excited to read what is to come for the rest of them! Also I appreciate those small details you put in the story which again, helps the characters feel alot more like actual people. where the characters in your story based off or inspired by real people in your life or around you? I am also interested in in how whitney and this situation affects the rest of the group. Great job in your story! Keep up the good work and stay safe!

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  12. Wow these stories are incredible... I will pay you to write my next novel!!!

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  13. Hi Hannah,

    These stories are amazing. There is so much attention to detail in them. Basically like reading a JK Rowling story where she takes up 50 pages telling us everything going on in the scene as well as advancing the plot. I look forward to seeing the Trippy Stories of Quarantine Class of 2020. I have some great plot content if you'd like it given my cabin fever.

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  14. Hi Hannah,

    This storybook came so far! The first time that I stopped into your storybook all you had written was your introduction I was hooked since the beginning and I was so excited to come back and read your finished storybook.

    I love what you did with the form that your story took. It is impressive how you are telling a story but also incorporated the group text message that you did. I believe that by adding that you made the story that much more interesting and made it appealing to readers. It was especially appealing to teenagers and college kids I would say. With the shape that our country has taken and lots of states trying to legalize marijuana it is a very fitting story. I know that many college kids can relate to this!

    Also, this note was supposed to be about paragraphs but you did a great job making this story easy to read so I didn't have anything to say about that.

    You did a great job with this!

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  15. Hey Hannah,
    Great stories all the way through! I was honestly only looking to read a couple, but they were so good I decided to read them all! I thought you did a really good job of keeping a good pace for the story. Nothing ever drags on too long or goes too fast; it's just the right amount of action that keeps you wanting more!
    I really like how you incorporate text messages into your story! It gives your story something unique! My suggestion would be to consider incorporating some music or videos into your storybook. This is a web blog, and that gives you certain advantages over a normal print book! Maybe things like the Kill Bill soundtrack for "Feeling Whitney: Homecoming" or like a creepy soundtrack for the police station in "Feeling Whitney: The Interrogation." This would really put your storybook over the top!
    Good luck with the rest of the class!

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  16. Hi Hannah,
    So first of all, I really like the design of your page, and the layout of the stories throughout it. On the next note, I read your introduction, and am planning on reading the rest now. I really like how you use characters in your story that share the same age and mentality that many of us do. I am also digging the twilight zone themes throughout the story. I never thought that I would be reading about drug life in college, but I think that this brings awareness and creativity to this untapped market. I was initially drawn into your storybook because of the title, and I think this title certainly serves its purpose throughout your stories. I didnt see any author's notes so I wasnt sure if you had based this story off of a certain story or maybe I just missed it, but either way, I really like the start to this story. Cant wait to read more!

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  17. Hi again Hannah,

    So I just finished reading your second story titled, "Feeling Whitney," and had to say that I am really enjoying reading through your stories. I love the style of writing that you bring and really enjoy reading about this group of friends and the issues that arise when one of your close friends is in a dangerous game such as drug dealing. I have known many people throughout my time here in Norman that fell into traps like this and even seen the negative side of things when these individuals became reckless in their 'trade'. I also like how you add a sense of urgency and psychology to the story when you talk about Nicole's feelings of paranoia, and think that you have really been able to experience the problems that this population of people go through. Also, gotta say, I am a huge fan of Post Malone and I love the song Feeling Whitney.

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